Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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