You're a womanizer and a bitch.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
