Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
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