I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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