you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize