I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
