I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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