On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
