i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
