I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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