I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Randomize
