just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
