I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
thus making me awesome and them whores
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My life is pants optional.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
