can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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