my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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