Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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