Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
