i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
