i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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