Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
