No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
