If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
