forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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