Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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