I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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