I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
