Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
