I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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