I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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