Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
