haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
