so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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