Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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