just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
