I wish they made helmets for livers.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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