super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
