Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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