It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
