Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
