I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Someone stole a lamp last night.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
