Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
