i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
