once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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