kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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