where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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