i barfeds in our rink
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
