I cockslap morals
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
