Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My liver just had a heart attack.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
