considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Randomize
