i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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