I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
what day is it and did you see me today?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
